February Musings

Usually on Mondays at this time I am Sitting at my desk at work trying not to look at the clock and mulling over what I want for lunch as my stomach begins to growl.
 This Monday I am lucky enough to have off as it is the slowest time of year at the office. Its another freezing day in Wisconsin. A high of only 7! Brrrrrr.
 This winter has been particularly harsh. Not so much with snow but, with horrible and freezing temps that dip to -40 with wind chills. Its nearly the middle of February and everything is still frozen and hushed. There is about 3 to 4 feet of snow piled up around every ones mailboxes. Its a mini Antarctica on my street...well everyone in the state for that matter!
 But, despite all the horrible weather I feel an odd kinship with this month that I have never felt before.
I think its perhaps because January was so horrible and dark. It truly felt like an endless and frozen night that would go on forever. When the months changed though....as soon as it happened...a change. The sunlight seems slightly more golden. The birds have begun to sing again in the mornings. My heart nearly Burst when I first heard them. It was a sign. A faint sign perhaps but, a sign....that winter has begun to weaken. Even if its just a smidgen. February has given me hope that winter really will end. Even as I type this I look out my window at the clear blue sky. It still has that winter blue color but, it is a deeper hue than January. I even see some birds flying from tree to tree and the wind is calm today. Spring will come again.

Red Tent Night

About 2 months ago, 2 girlfriends and I decided to start a girls only night once a month. A night reserved for celebrating being....a women. In a culture where women are pitted against each other in an endless battle of beauty , brains and body women I feel are taught at a young age to view each other as instant rivals. To take each other down instead of helping each other on this difficult journey called life.
Our inspiration Came from a book called The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. A book set in Bible times. A book about the the women of the tribes of Jacob and Esau. Its a beautiful Story. Full of lost tradition and myth. of the burden of being a women. Of the joys of being a women. A tale of life and death....and life again. Being Born. Living. Breathing. Dying. Crying. A tale of...a womens Cycle and the beauty of it. The symbolism of it. It celebrates the power we have as life givers.
 My friends Anna and Kelly take turns hosting one night a month. On this Night as in the book we give ourselves up to celebrating our inner lionesses. For praying for one another. Listening to the burdens and joys we are each going thru. For feasting and drinking red wine. We each bring a dish. Usualy there is cheese and fruit in abundance. My Fellow lioness Anna makes an amazing chicken curry dish that is usualy in demand. There is always tea and sweets afterwards.
One of the most looked forward to events of the nights is the lighting of the sage. we each light a sage stick and dance to Lorenna Mckennet. Twirling round and round. Sometimes with scarves. Its so freeing. This is a night we all come together to heal and revive our hearts. we bare our souls. We light candles and say a blessing for each girls.

We have all come to love this night. Its a night of true kindreds. Of women coming together and celebrating being a women. Celebrating friendship. Celebrating life. Here are a few more peaks into our Red Tent Night.

The Lighting of the sage.

Anna lighting 3 candles. 1 for 3 women who have somehow been a blessing and a mentor/Inspiration to her life. we all take turns doing this.

Our after dinner sweets. Tea,Scones,Biscuits and Fruit!

This is the first time I find myself Blogging in a rather long time. Since my last post life has changed dramatically. Ive gotten Married.I Have a new job. Ive been to Europe. I am madly in love with my husband. But.....I have a question and I want to know if any other newly wed girls have felt the same as me. Here goes... ....I feel like I have no time for myself and my old hobbies. I loved poetry. I used to read it. I loved musicals from broadway. They were all I would listen to and movies from soundtracks. I loved my tranquil moments by an open window.Hearing the birds singing as they soar thru the sky.I loved just simply being. I loved walks in the rain. I cant remember the last time I did that. I used to read steamy historical novels or girls running away to the big city looking for a better life. I cant remember the last book I read. My time is all my husbands now. I wouldn't have it any other way but....I feel...and I know that its alright and that I should and need to have just 20 minutes a day to myself. If im not in tune to my needs and my innermost self I cant be in tune to his. This is not a selfish desire. Its a need as a woman to not forget the deepest recceses of my soul. We are strong and mysterious creatures. In todays society we are called upon to compete and fight against each other like gladiators from the roman empire. Bloody Battles of Whos the most Skinny? Whos prettier? Whos the most seductive? We are treated as show ponies. Easily discarded when our coates become dull. *sigh* Weve forgotten how strong we are and we have forgotten to listen to our hearts and what we are feeling and what we need. Again let me say that I enjoy taking care of and being with my husband.He is my best friend. But I feel a need to take some time out for myself...even if its just 20 minutes a day so I can become in tune with my heart again.

summer observations

The evening is still and muggy. The earth cracked today under all the heat. High summer is here. Its funny how every month of the summer has a different feel to it. June....Ahhh june. And what is so rare as a day in june.....so goes the poem. Its such a tender and lush month. Timidly it steps in and then it should and everything is Freenet again. July: July to me is a rather moody month. It can be angry. Scorching hot and not a promise of rain in the sky. It can also be moody and meloncholy. With grey skies that rumble with distant thunder telling of a storm fast approaching. Or it can be just gentle rain...warm steamy gentle rain all day. August. August is so graceful and hushed. It is the month that summer dies. At the start of august nature comes to a hush. It pauses.....inhales one more time and then lets go. One by one you notice certain insects arent there anymore. The crickets song is less peppy. Even the birds have a restless stir about them. And the fun....it seems a littleless golden in August. Sigh. I shall enjoy every last bit of summer.

these dog days

Rite now I'm on my break at work. I work at a cosmetics counter in a department store. During the summer the whole store becomes rather dead. It seems everyone is off on vacation or heading to summer camp. The days I'm afraid, drag by horribly in the summer. Anyone who works retail can relate. It doesnt help either when you have a entire army of store managers hounding you to open credits and get emails. As if people need more debt shoved down their throats these days and more junk mail in their inbox. It especialy cracks me up when us cosmetic girls are told to go recruit people to bring back to the counter when the store is dead. Recruit Who??? Nevertheless We are sent of into the racks of clothes to hunt down any old lady we can find and beg her to come back to the counter for a free foundation sample. sigh. Ill be glad when things pick up again.

The rain kisses the earth, the rain gently kisses my face. The rain brings Hope to a parched land. The rain brings salvation.

The wine flows and the fruit is abundant. I love moments like this. When you feel safe and warm and just....just plain cozy. I'm relaxing on the couch with a glass of wine and fruit. My boyfriend will is making nachos for dinner. Darkness is falling....a cozy summer evening.